ElectricTangerine

I don’t know what it is about this season, but this is the second episode in a row where I found myself thinking “Wow, I didn’t see that coming..” at the end. And not in a good way.

As the bobbin turns and the show opens we get to see Jack provoke a bit of drama by daring to pick Ricky’s model instead of doing the expected thing and sticking with the same model he had last week - much to Ricky’s everlasting bitchiness.

I don’t quite understand the attitude that the designers have towards their models. I can understand being territorial about your model when you get a good one, but I would think that the practice of swapping models would be fairly common among the designers. When it all comes down to it, this is a competition and you want to have your designs showcased on a model who walks well and whose coloring and general build are best suited to your designs/vision. If I were a designer, I’d be jumping on the red headed model with the ball bearing hips every chance I got, because that’s the kind of designs I’d be putting out.
The indignation level for model “snatching” has popped up every season and I just don’t get it. In art school we routinely pilfered and seduced away other artists’ models/muses/lovers at every turn and it was fairly expected. The work comes first.

Right. So, Jack snakes Ricky’s model and Ricky is all lip out about it. Thankfully, he doesn’t cry this episode, although I probably would’ve if I’d have sent that atrocious design down the runway in front of people. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This week’s challenge begins with Nina Garcia showing up in the workroom. For the record: never a good sign. She presents the designers with a series of placards showing trends which are officially “over.”
And I get sweet, sweet vindication as Jillian wonders aloud if her own style is “over” because she’s wearing one of the trends Nina has on the placards. Did I call that one or what?

Listen to me now and hear me later - if you’re not working on a farm you don’t need to be wearing overalls. If you’re a guy, you’ll end up looking like Elgin the painter on Murphy Brown (at best, at worst you’ll look like Balki from “Perfect Strangers”) and if you’re a woman chances are good that it will NOT be flattering in that 80’s maternity wear kind of way. I’ve seen exactly two women that can pull off overalls without looking thoroughly shapeless and saggy in them - both of whom were in Bananarama. Dated look? Yeah, just a bit.
Lost in the 80’s Jillian continues her stumble towards culottes and clogs, unphased.

The Zombie Fashion Trends are pretty horrific and extreme: pleather, neon, cut outs, overalls, baggy sweaters, underwear as outerwear, zoot suits, dancewear, poodle skirts. Awful, awful, awful. Things that have gone to the fashion graveyard for good reason (although they missed leg warmers - a trend which I was horrified to discover has been making a comeback. Like a herpes sore, this is not something we’re pleased to see showing up again!)

As an additional complication on an already demanding challenge, this week’s trial will be a team challenge. Eeeeek! Not only do we have wretched trends, we have wretched trends in combination!

Team Christian - Christian, Jack and Kit:

My three favorites all together on one team! Excellent! I must admit, Kit has won me over. I’ve begun to see where she’s coming from and I appreciate her creativity, sense of playfulness, originality and vision. Christian episodically grates on my nerves, but I have to give him props for daring to be as over the top and unrepentantly attention seeking as he is, and he’s got some mad skills. Jack is Jack. He’s that rare combination: eye candy who seems to have a good heart, acts decently towards others and has talent, a strong set of skills and a refined eye.

I liked their collection the best. I loved what Kit did with the black pinstripe top with the capped sleeves. I thought the pattern combinations were daring and worked well together. Their three pieces were visually appealing and complimented one another. The collection functioned as a cohesive unit while also allowing each designer’s piece to remain distinctive. They combined the elements they’d had to work with (pleather, zoot suit and fringe) in a way that was innovative, original and modern. I thought they should’ve won.

Team Chris - Chris, Steven and Sweet P:

Not the easiest team to corral, that’s for sure, but at least Sweet P got a break from working with Craaaazy Elisa. I didn’t think that their idea for each of the three designers to kind of “do their own thing” would work, and sure enough - it didn’t.
Of the three, I thought Steven’s design worked the least well. Especially considering the fact that his Zombie Fashion choice was “dancewear.” I agreed with Nina - where was the dancewear element in this piece? A kimono wrap top and leggings do not equal dancewear and the way the pieces were constructed left me cold. It just didn’t move well, and he didn’t have near the challenge that Chris or Sweet P had, with regard to the trend he was working with.
I was frankly bored by the color palette too. Beige and black? Really? From you three? This is what happens when you start playing it too safe and I’ve never been a fan of that strategy. In summary: Ucky tuh.

Team Ricky - Ricky, Victorya and Craaaazy Elisa:

I laughed at the way Ricky described communicating with Elisa the same way that he’d communicated with his semi-stoned dance instructors. I thought he did exactly the right thing in attempting to go to Elisa where she is, because Lord knows, Elisa’s not going to be visiting our planet anytime soon. You work with the teammates you have, not the ones you wish you had.

I feel badly that Ricky was saddled with Victorya, the Passive Aggressiveness poster child. Holy cripes does this girl have some “issues” with a capital “I!” She obviously wanted to lead, but she didn’t want the responsibility that comes with taking the leadership role outright - so she spends all of her time running maverick on the sidelines, undercutting the leader and being uncommunicative, then protesting that she’s just trying to fulfill her own vision and blah blah blah. Bottom line - she torpedoed her team and I wish the judges would’ve made more of an issue out of that. It seemed that they noticed it, but then brushed past it fairly quickly. I’d have liked to have seen her drug over the coals for it far more extensively, but then…I have a vindictive side that emerges around passive aggressive types.
Of the three pieces, I did feel Victorya’s worked the best - but again, it’s not entirely fair to judge Ricky’s piece too harshly because he spent so much time trying to get a neck rein on Victorya and his work suffered for it. That’s Victorya’s fault, not his. There’s only so much he could’ve done aside from tazing her and shoving her into a coat closet.
That being said, Ricky’s pieces have consistently been embarrassingly poorly constructed and strangely proportioned. I would’ve crawled under my chair if I’d have sent that lumpy, amateurish looking mess down the runway. He chose the fabric for the collection and it absolutely did not work on 2 out of 3 pieces.
You know it’s bad when Elisa shows you up.
I was pleased that this team at least attempted to introduce some actual color into their line. What is going ON, please, with the boring neutrals and dull palette this season? There’s no dazzle, no sparkle. It’s all just so…blah. And the people designing these pieces don’t appear to be “blah” kinds of people, so I find myself wondering what the heck is going on?

Team Jillian - Jillian, Rami and Kevin:

Allow me to be absolutely candid here and admit that I am a human and thus, flawed. I don’t claim to be the final arbiter of taste or high fashion. If there’s one constant in any creative field it’s that tastes vary and you can’t please everyone.
That being said…with regard to Team Jillian? I will admit that I just don’t get it.
I’ve heard other people raving about the designs these three yawn-meisters produced this week and I’m left scratching my head. The three pieces they put together seemed, to me, to be dowdy, dated, boring, ugly and largely unwearable. The fabric choices were wretched and the colors were equally so. They managed to make all of their models look washed out and peaked.
I thought Rami’s piece was something that I’d see my Mom’s friends making for their 4 year old granddaughters at their Joanne Fabrics sewing class on the weekends. Seriously? A kicky little faux denim multi-tiered swing skirt with piping? Really? Was she going to a Ho Down somewhere? Throw a pair of red cowboy boots under that thing and she’d be good to go.
Kevin’s shorts were the quintessential “Soccer Mom” shorts with their high waist and bizarre Bermuda short, high cut, cuffed legs. Whaaaa? And what was up with the print on that blouse? In another print (ANY other print) the blouse would’ve worked, but in that awful, faded, dowdy Laura Ashley floral? It is to gag.
Of the three pieces, I thought Jillian’s wide leg overalls over the sheer baby blue blouse worked the best, but it still wasn’t….*yawn* What was I saying? Oh yeah. Not memorable. Not exciting. Not particularly appealing. Certainly not glamorous or very wearable (you be wearable but not glamorous or you can be glamorous but not very wearable - to be neither? Not a choice I’d make.)
Total snore-fest from Team Jyllian. I don’t get what the judges are smoking, but it must be some gooood quality stuff, because they’re hallucinating.

This week’s winner: Jillian. For reasons that thoroughly elude me.

Auf’d: Chris - similarly, for reasons that thoroughly elude me. Yes, his piece was a bit too “Dynasty” meets Joan Crawford, but c’mon! It was well made, had textural interest (sorely lacking in this season’s designs) and he at least attempted to do something interesting with three extremely difficult trends.
It should’ve been Ricky. Victorya problems notwithstanding, he’s been in the bottom two several times now and his work is consistently shoddy. Chris’ Auf’ing is another example of the prime directive of reality TV: be entertaining and we’ll let you linger on the hook far longer than your level of talent would indicate. If Chris would’ve thrown around more drama, he’d still be in the competition. If you’re most interested in the work and act too mature, you make one mistake and you get bounced.

Farewell Chris, we hardly knew ye…and it’s a damn shame too. I’m just glad that I live in the San Francisco Bay area and so I’ll probably have the chance to see more of what you can do at some point. I sure hope I do!