ElectricTangerine

Apologies for being so late, but “Project Runway” comes on at 10 on the left coast, which means it ends at 11. I had to be awake yesterday at 5 a.m. so unfortunately I didn’t make it to the premiere on time. I had business to attend to this morning, so I’ve only just now had the chance to sit down and have some quality time with my TiVo.

All that being said, let’s dish some dirt and talk some smack about people…

The Winner:
- I think we all called this one in the air. Rami has some intense, nay even lethal skills. What can you say about that dress? It was absolutely stunning. I loved the color, I loved the cut, I loved the construction. It moved flawlessly and the fall of that draped fabric down the back was to. die. for.
I laughed that Michael Kors shares my opinion about the fabric flower.
I need to get this out of the way and off my chest: For the record: I loathe the whole fabric flower phenomenon. I think fabric flowers are fugly and make a beautiful dress look dowdy, dated and cluttered. I don’t get why they persist to the point of ubiquity. Lose the flower and that dress would be perfection. Gorgeous!

- I really wanted to like Christian since so many people hated him on sight because he’s flamboyant and young and has ummm…unconventional hair…BUT it turns out he’s also an uptalker? Which drives me, like, crazy? And he’s kind of a pompous prat? Who sort of blew off Tim’s suggestions? (Cardinal sin)
I thought his dress was just this side of hid’jeous. The jacket might’ve worked for me if he would’ve omitted the black crepe chest hair/Hawaiian lei detail. The skirt, I just didn’t get. I thought it echoed his hairstyle a little scarily. Asymmetrical and overworked seems to be his theme. It also takes a lot of work to make a model that skinny look that hippy.
I don’t care what Nina said about it; it was a weird, bunchy, ugly take on the little old rich lady dress.

- Black dresses tend to go one of two directions: intense and dramatic or just boring. I think this one veered heavily towards the dramatic and I loved the double shoulder strap. I hated the big metallic flower, obviously. *&$#@! fabric flowers!! But the touch of metallic glitter did a lot to turn up the volume on this piece, so she’s provisionally forgiven. The trouble with Victoria is that she’s understated to the point of being forgettable. In fact, I almost forgot to include her just now and I actually liked her dress. She seriously needs to step up her game visibility and personality-wise.

- Ok, so did I call this one or what? Is it me or was that pretty much an 80’s prom dress? And she came to New York, to her posh new apartment, on national television, for a fashion design competition….in dowdy coulottes? I thought Carmen was either being nice or being seriously bitchy to compliment those. Looooost in the Eiiiiightiiiiies….
Five bucks says next week we see her design a bustier paired with a multi-level flounce skirt, sleeveless lace gloves and porkpie hat.
If she breaks out the hair crimper, I may have to wish harm upon her person.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah you’re Straighty Von Straighterson. We get it. Now shut up and do something interesting.

- The hats are killin’ me here. Did I miss a memo? Are mesh and circus stripe engineer hats back in? I thought his dress was “ehh” same as with Kevin’s. Not very original. I think I saw it at “Fredrick’s Of Hollywood” a few years back. I like Ricky, though, if only for the line about running “like a Mexican running for the border.”

- I wanted to hate him for his obvious Eye Candy positioning. I wanted to hate myself for gaping at the gratuitous, low light, silhouette, underwear model scene. In spite of his prettyboy-ness, Jack earned my respect. I thought the bold black on white graphical element of the fabric paired beautifully with the way the dress was constructed. It moved well and the pop of the blue sash and piping lent a bit of modern edginess to it. He was in my top three. And not just because the underwear shot momentarily robbed me of the power of speech, either.
Quote of the Week: “I’m still in the room, people!”

- If I may channel Karen Walker for a moment “Oh honey NO!”
Good. Great. Gods. Clearly Elisa is competing for the esteemed Vincent Libretti Shithouse Rat Insanity Award. There was a lot of screaming going on while I was watching Elisa cut, watching Elisa sew, watching Elisa HAND measure!?! With her HAND!! And then…that dress! I was a little mad that Heidi Klum stole my line, because I swear to you, the model turned around and I screamed “Her model pooped a parachute!!” That thing was just beyond awful and I’m thinkin’ the only reason Elisa’s still kicking around the workroom is because she’s trainwreck television at its finest.

- I told you so. Gypsy laundry basket explosions. I do have to give her respect for the fact that she seems to have a unique vision, though. Her dress this week could’ve been really amazing, if she would’ve dialed back the asymmetrical arm thing and left off the dangly bits. And what’s up with the puffed, bunchy looking sleeves this season? I have to give props here to my 12 year old daughter, who has dubbed these awful things “dress tumors.” Yes. Exactly. TJ Maxx meets Hot Topic.

- I tried so hard to like Carmen’s ensemble, but I just couldn’t get there. My initial take on it: “I pity the fool that don’t like mah fashions!” Did she intend to invoke Mr.T? All those gold chains and bunchy shoulder details with that scarf and the model’s lopsided head knot. Whoa. It looked to me like she threw in everything but the kitchen sink. She needs to review her Coco Chanel fashion advice handbook. Always take one piece of jewelry off before you…let your model walk the runway. I give her respect for the use of color and the fact that it takes guts to put pants out on that runway, but overall…gotta say, I was pretty disappointed.

- Ok, ok…I have grudging respect for the guy. My Grinch-like heart first went out to him because forcing the contestants into a run-off is just NOT fair to the fat boy. And I say that as someone who has been that fat boy, so don’t think I’m being anti-fat when I say that. It just seemed like it was intentionally mean, but then - wow! You have to love the fact that he took a decided disadvantage and pulled off that beautiful aubergine and gold evening gown. Well done, man! Well done indeed.

- Someone’s channelling Warhol. Hopefully that’ll inspire him later on in the season, because I thought his overall demeanor and his design were pretty yawn inspiring.

- Who are you again?

Auf’d…

- I can’t imagine what she was thinking to create that dress for this competition. You don’t come into this environment and not bring your A-game, girl! The construction on that thing was Gawd Awful and the lumpy jacket didn’t help. I’m not a big fan of saturated yellow, beige and peach either, I don’t think the colors worked (although Heidi liked it). It was just ugly. That being said, I believe that if Elisa were one whit less eye-poppingly insane, Simone would still be In and might’ve pulled it out in subsequent episodes.